A Note to Myself

I want to be content without being numb.

I want to have opinions without being closed-minded.

I want to have morality without judging others.

I want to love without being selfish or ashamed.

I want to grow without leaving others behind.

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I Respect & Admire -

Those who are able to find balance in their lives.
Those who live and work in quiet perserverence.
Those whose first thought is about others not themselves.
Those with strong opinions that force us to questions ourselves.
Those who can give their love freely even if they know they will be hurt by it.

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I hope in the future that I will...

Hold myself accountable for my actions

Risk being hurt if it mean I can help someone

Live deliberately without allowing perfection to infect my efforts

Practice awareness and empathy when dealing with the rights and feelings of those around me

Be Honest

Come to understand that I am only human and I am not infallible

Always act in the spirit of compassion and understanding

Interconnectedness

The net of the universe hangs like a shawl on my shoulders.

At times, it is woven in love and sustains me.
I glimpse the nature of unity and find peace.

And there are also times when it feels as thought it were made of lead.
The weight of action and responsibility force me to my knees.
The thread is all of humanity and I feel that I am overwhelmed by duty.

But it is my choice - I alone give thought and form to this perception...
Will I be struck by awe at the miracle of our time here
Or will I despair at the emptiness of the universe?

Is there not something in between...some joyful celebration of our bond?
Why instead, do these unnamed feelings overwhelm my spirit?

It Begins Again.

I just confirmed my flight to LAX.
I depart for my Peace Corps Adventure: Fiji Edition on the 20th of May.

I also just saw the staging itinerary...
It will be the exact same 2 day presentation. It was trying the first time...

But I am happy to see things falling into place.
I have only a few things to do before I leave which is refreshing.

• Pick up some clothing.
• Purchase portable speakers.
• Burn extra CDs.
• Save my HD to my external unit.
• Re-pack.

Day to Day in Boston

Last week, I had the opportunity to house-sit for a friend with two dogs. My responsibilities to the pets (especially the puppy, Matilda) and other office work I offered to assist with had me occupied and content. Now, I have come to stay with a gracious friend for the remainder of my time here. The arrangement is ideal. I am close enough to bus lines that I can easily move about the city. I am also close to St. Elizabeth's Hospital where I have chosen to volunteer until I leave once more. I went today to speak with the head of volunteering hopeful that she would be able to find a placement for me soon. And she quickly switched from the informal questions of an interview to eagerly explaining a new project she hoped to initiate. She went into the explanation of the event already assuming my participation in it. I was thrilled that I was so quickly accepted into the workings of the department. To have a purpose once more and be able to use my skills to help others has truly made my day. I already started work on a community development program for seniors at the cafe. I'll be surveying individuals coming to a hospital event on Thursday night for their responses to the idea. It looks like I will also be helping plan a volunteer appreciation event for early June. Now I just need to get myself to sit down and study my Hindi and Bauan.

Packing List for Fiji

CLOTHING

• Long dresses: Short-sleeved, hem falls below the knees*
• 1 Moderately formal dress*
• 1 Conservative long black skirt/dress*
• Long, loose skirts, hem falls below the knees*
• 1-2 Long-sleeved tops*
• Loose-fitting, short-sleeved cotton shirts*
• Short-sleeve, button down blouses*
• 2 Tanktops with Support
• 2 Sportbras
• 1 Traditional-style Bra
• 2 Lightweight sweaters*
• 1 Zip-down Sweatshirt/Lightweight Fleece*
• 1-2 Pairs of long pants*
• Pairs of lightweight, knee-length shorts*
• Athletic shoes*
• Sandals/walking shoes*
• Durable Reef Shoes

GEAR

• Backpacker’s sleeping bag liner*
• Pillowcase
• LED Headlamp
• Small Sewing kit
• Sunglasses*
• Hat*
• Waterproof windbreaker*
• Light-gauge wetsuit*
• Snorkle and Mask*
• Umbrella*
• Waterproof watch*
• Thermarest
• Personal hygiene and toiletry items*

• 2 Pair of Prescription Glasses
• Crystal Rock Deodorant
• 2 Toothbrushes
• Dr. Bronner's Soap
• Tom's of Maine Toothpaste
• Floride Floss
• Hair Clippers
• "Keeper" (I highly recommend this for every woman)

• Folding Camping Chair
• 2 Dry Bags: X-small, Small
• Sturdy luggage/travel bags*

• Large Military Style Pack
• Medium Internal Frame Pack
• Medium -sized Hiking Backpack (inside luggage)

KITCHEN AND HOME

• Small Clock with Alarm*
• Travel Adapter (Type I)
• 3-4 Nalgene Bottles
• Good, sharp kitchen knife*
• Shortwave radio*
• Portable tool kit/ Multi-tool*
• 2 Lightweight towels and face cloths*
• Flashlight*
• Duct Tape*
• Locks*
• Plastic French press*
• Silica gel*
• Basic cookbook*
• Vegetable steamer*
• Zip-Loc Bags*
• Tupperware
• Personal Thermometer (There usually isn't one in the medkit)
• Herbal Sleeping Aid (for the flight)

FINANCIAL/ LEGAL CONSIDERATIONS

• AMEX Credit Card for Emergencies
• Personal Passport
• Medical Record & Immunization Record in Protective Folder
• Photocopies of Important Documents in Protective Folder

MISCELLANEOUS & PERSONAL ITEMS

• Camera*
• CD player & CDs*
• Portable Speakers (Regretted not having them last time)
• Laptop (Powerbook G4)
• Solar Panel System
• Paperback books*

• Zen and Spiritual Texts
• Favorite Casual Reading

• Games: Cards, UNO, Scrabble, Frisbee, Deflated Ball*
• Inflatable globe & atlas*
• Personal Photo Album/Address Book,Laminated*
• Simple song book of American songs*
• Surface mail subscriptions*

• Martha Stewart
• Tricycle

• U.S. postage stamps*
• Children's Books
• Gifts*

• Anything "American." A trip to the dollar store should suit your needs fine.
• Stickers are wonderful for children.
• Kitchen tools - Silicone Potholders, Can opener
• Multi-tool

*Peace Corps Recommended Items

Second Invitation

I have officially received my (second) invitation to the Peace Corps.

My placement will be in Fiji working with the Community Health Promotion Project.

I will post what details I can here, including updating links and contact information.

I am very pleased to be accepting this assignment. I believe that the location and the work could not be more ideally suited. I look forward to returning to the South Pacific and discovering more of the beauty in that area of the world.

Accomidating Uncertanity

The last two weeks have been a disorienting combination of frantic preparations, tense waiting, and frail attempts at meaningful activity.

I understand that I am the type of person who feels they need to be continually engaged in a directed purpose. If I am in a situation where I have little control over my environment and I am given to much time on my hands, I will become restless and unmotivated. I would like to imagine myself using this time to meditate and do yoga or another activity that would encourage my personal growth. I envision myself lingering over cups of tea and reading some insightful words.

What do I do instead? I sleep in, unable to force myself from the apathetic blanket of half-consciousness. And unless I have specific tasks set out for the day that I must accomplish, I waste my time on the internet... pretending to occupy my time with lists and Word documents. Taking digital figments of reality and re-organizing them into tidy files. Essentially, trying to make order out of illusion.

Previously, this was enough to fool my mind into thinking it was occupied. But I have a new perspective. I see these actions a just subtle distractions. My mind working against its despondent attitude. I also have the experience of being in a distant place, in similar circumstances but I was unable to as easily escape my dejected state. I was forced to face my malaise and take measures to alter my mood out of cultural and professional necessity.

What does all this amount to? Perhaps, if I make the effort to schedule my days with more structure I will be able to convince my fickle emotional self that such activities are worthwhile.

Video: News Article on Global Warming in Kiribati

Here is a news broadcast on global warming in Kiribati. I think it is a wonderful effort to show the impact on human life instead of just listing facts on a page.

Video: Global Warming in Kiribati

Photography: Kiribati

Enjoy!

Returning to The "New World"

I missed my flight.

One would think a 10 hour layover would be enough to connect from LAX to Boston...
Apparently not in my case.

I could not accurately tell you if it was a wrong time on a clock, the wrong gate, the fact that I may have slept through boarding that caused me to miss my flight... which probably says something about my lack of brain functioning yesterday.

But more than all of that I have been a bit overwhelmed by the complexity of everything here.. in just a short time I became accustomed to a simpler pace of life. My penance was sleeping on the rug floor of the international terminal (which was none to clean but seeing that I have been sleeping in a hut with rats the last few weeks, it was immaculate comparitively)... and not actually getting any rest. I'll live.

I'm planning on trying to adjust to the local time zone in the East Coast... trying not to sleep to much during the day. But I may take a rest on the plane.

Everything here is so bright... and the materials of the buildings are enormously varied. Everything is on a tight schedule and everyone seems to be in a rush. Astounding what a month away can do for one's perspective.