Obituary: Marilyn M. Doherty

This was the digital copy of Marilyn's obituary. There is also an online guestbook here.

News: Marilyn, my stepmom has passed away.

It was a peaceful but unexpected death. She passed on in her sleep of a heart attack. I've come from Fiji to Victoria, Canada to be with my family and my father for the ceremony. I will miss her presence in my life.

Use this moment, this brief space in your usual daily thoughts to reflect.

Reflect not on loss but instead think on those you care for.

Treasure them in your every breath because we do not know how long we are to be in this lifetime.

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Life as we
Find it, death too

- Ta-Hui Tsung-Kao.

Diet & Dharma

Just this morning, I tasted the first mango to be harvested from my tree. The depth and complexity of flavour was astounding. I truly hope I can continue to savor my food each time with such relish.

I have decided recently to attempt a vegan diet once more. My conscious has been disturbed each time I think on the conditions in which most dairy cows exist. And if I am able to abstain from meat and eggs, than why not dairy? Besides, I truly think there is no better place on this earth for fresh organic produce than Fiji. The exception I will make to this diet is while eating as a guest in another’s home (it would be near impossible to avoid milk in an Indo-Fijian home).

I have been walking besides a path I was too cowardly to step upon. A path where I must hold myself to a higher standard of behavior.

I have felt for sometime that there have been actions in my life, which were less than appropriate: the treatment of those around me, my level of compassion and respect regarding others’ commitments, my diet. In the past, I found some way of consoling myself and disregarded my violation of certain ideas that I hold to be true. If I lowered my standards of expectation for myself, they were easier to attain without failure. But I want to be worthy of the respect I am given, even if it means failure.

The truth I have perceived lately is that being a noble person does not mean denying emotion or contrary thoughts. I do not have to defy who I am to walk this path, I only need to find the benefit in taking the other more challenging action.

The first step in this journey is coming to terms with who I am, not in a struggle to better myself, but to consider my Self a friend. I need to see my Self as I would someone I care for – I would never disregard someone because of their flaws but accept them for everything they are, unconditionally. So why should I not extend the same attitude to myself?

Fun with Hindi - Tati & Tita

In my learning Fijian Hindi, I have made one terribly notable mistake thus far. And I thought I might share it so should you ever come to Fiji you will not make the same mistake.

I was over a neighbor's house playing with her young daughter of about a year when suddenly the child grabs her diaper and begins to shout "Tati, tati!" I had not heard this word before and asked her mother what it meant and she said it translated to (politely put) poop. I laughed and said that perhaps she needed to change her diaper. The next day at the Senior Centre, the staff and I were having lunch and my friend (and counterpart) offered me some of her curry to taste. It was delicious but spicy and so I said to her, "khana bahut sawaad, bahut tati." Yes, I had said "tati" instead of "tita." Meaning - instead of saying that her food was delicious and spicy, I had said it was delicious and shitty. She laughed and still reminds me of it every time we sit down to eat and she offers me food.

Recipe: Maharishtrian Eggplant

I am hoping to post recipes that I discover here in Fiji to give each of you back home a little taste (literally) of my life here.

I've included the recipe as an image so you can just copy and paste it.

Eat, enjoy and think of palm trees!