Just this morning, I tasted the first mango to be harvested from my tree. The depth and complexity of flavour was astounding. I truly hope I can continue to savor my food each time with such relish.
I have decided recently to attempt a vegan diet once more. My conscious has been disturbed each time I think on the conditions in which most dairy cows exist. And if I am able to abstain from meat and eggs, than why not dairy? Besides, I truly think there is no better place on this earth for fresh organic produce than Fiji. The exception I will make to this diet is while eating as a guest in another’s home (it would be near impossible to avoid milk in an Indo-Fijian home).
I have been walking besides a path I was too cowardly to step upon. A path where I must hold myself to a higher standard of behavior.
I have felt for sometime that there have been actions in my life, which were less than appropriate: the treatment of those around me, my level of compassion and respect regarding others’ commitments, my diet. In the past, I found some way of consoling myself and disregarded my violation of certain ideas that I hold to be true. If I lowered my standards of expectation for myself, they were easier to attain without failure. But I want to be worthy of the respect I am given, even if it means failure.
The truth I have perceived lately is that being a noble person does not mean denying emotion or contrary thoughts. I do not have to defy who I am to walk this path, I only need to find the benefit in taking the other more challenging action.
The first step in this journey is coming to terms with who I am, not in a struggle to better myself, but to consider my Self a friend. I need to see my Self as I would someone I care for – I would never disregard someone because of their flaws but accept them for everything they are, unconditionally. So why should I not extend the same attitude to myself?
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01 October 2007
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